Wolf Meditates
by MisterP
Summary: When Wolf meditates, insanity is sure to follow. Mario is turned into a trophy, Toon Link is vomiting, Pikachu ate cheese covered in ketchup, Peach is hysterical, Zelda becomes possessive, Pikmin go wild, and more antics take place in the Brawl Mansion.


**Disclaimer: All Copyright ownership and mumbo jumbo of **_**Super Smash Bros. Brawl**_** belong to Masahiro Sakurai, founder of Sora Ltd. and voice of King Dedede in **_**Super Smash Bros. Brawl**_**. I also do not own the song _My Sanctuary_, sung by Utada Hikaru for _Kingdom Hearts II_ just for your preferance.  
**

**Wolf O'Donnell is found meditating at the back of Brawl Mansion, causing chaos and mayhem to ensue. Mario is turned into a trophy, Meta Knight is working on newspaper crossword puzzles, Zelda becomes possessive of Link, the villains think that Jigglypuff is some sort of candy, Luigi starts dancing, Falco Lombardi is making cupcakes, Olimar's Pikmin terrorize the other Brawlers' rooms, Peach is hysterical, Lucas is blurting out secrets, Samus Aran has a secret obsession for Mario, Toon Link is vomiting, Pikachu is eating cheese covered in ketchup, Solid Snake attempts to feed Kirby a certain blue hedgehog and/or mail the blue hedgehog out of the country, and many more antics takes place. **

* * *

Ever since the incident with Tabuu and Subspace, all Brawlers and the Master Hand and the Crazy Hand decided to live together in a mansion in This World to have fun fighting together and to prepare for a new threat that may be even stronger than Tabuu. And thus the Brawl Mansion was born. Unfortunately for Crazy Hand, several men in white came in and took the chaotic, chocolate-loving left white glove hand away and no one knew when he would be back. Master Hand and some Brawlers occasionally paid him a visit in the Incarceration of Chocoholics and Usurper People, or I.C.U.P. for short. It was in that asylum that Master Hand and the Brawlers met Usurper King Zant, who was currently in a straitjacket. When it was Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf's turn to visit Crazy Hand, the three remarked that it was Midna's plan all along when she used the power of the Fused Shadows against the psychotic Usurper King.

Anyway, today was a seemingly normal day in the Brawl Mansion. However, there were no Brawl matches or single player adventure simulations due to the Brawl Console malfunctioning at the worst possible time because Master Hand spilled coffee on it. This news struck the Brawlers weird since the Master Hand is a hand and why he would even need coffee in the first place. Anyway, all thirty-five Brawlers, including the Ice Climbers pair as a whole, try to find a way to relax without having to resort to fighting for fun while Master Hand hired some help to fix the Brawl Console. Things went on smoothly until Mr. Game & Watch and Captain Falcon made a surprising discovery in the backyard.

"_Anyway, so I said to Samus, 'What's up?'"_ Captain Falcon said confidently in a chat with the two-dimensional hero while walking in the backyard. _"And she was like… uh Game & Watch? You okay?"_ He noticed that Mr. Game & Watch stopped walking and looked like he was staring at something up ahead. Captain Falcon looked into the direction Mr. Game & Watch faced and saw Wolf O'Donnell sitting on the grass. The Star Wolf leader sat cross-legged, arms out-stretched, sharp eyes closed, and claws held in a strange position.

"_Beep?"_ Mr. Game & Watched uttered in confusion.

"_No, I don't know what Wolf's doing,"_ Captain Falcon replied in the same confused tone. _"Let's check it out!"_ Captain Falcon dashed to Wolf in speed rivaling Sonic the Hedgehog's speed. Mr. Game & Watch merely walked over in his peculiar two-dimensional movement.

"_What do you two want?"_ Wolf asked in an irritated tone without opening his eye that was not covered by a cybernetic eye patch implant or even moving a single part of his body. Wolf's tail did not even sway lazily in the air.

"_We just want to know what you're doing, you impatient pup,"_ Captain Falcon answered heatedly.

"_What does it look like I'm doing, Captain Birdbrain,"_ Wolf said calmly. _"I'm meditating. Now, get lost!"_

"_You meditate!?"_ Captain Falcon asked skeptically. _"But you're… Wolf… You're supposed to be the most wild feral fighter among all of us! I mean, look at you! Those razor-sharp claws… Those keen fangs… You move wildly and fight with the spirit of a warrior possessed…"_ Behind Captain Falcon's visor, his eyes started to drift into a dreamlike state. Mr. Game & Watch stared at the F-Zero racer because of his recently weird statements about Wolf. _"Any prey you set your eyes on is doomed to be shredded to pieces!"_ Captain Falcon starting to chuckle maniacally, causing Mr. Game & Watch to slowly back away and Wolf's face wincing.

"_Have you been hanging out with Leon again, Falcon?"_ Wolf asked impassively.

"_Oh, heh…, so what if I did?"_ Captain Falcon responded after regaining his sanity. _"I'm… ha ha… just fine… ha…"_

"_You should have realized by know that my reptilian wing mate is twisting your impressionable mind, but I wouldn't hold it against you,"_ Wolf said unenthusiastically. _"Now if you please, I'm meditating…"_

"_Okay, fine,"_ Captain Falcon replied despondently. _"Don't tell me the reason then! See if I care! Alright Game & Watch, it's time to…"_ When Captain Falcon turned to where the two-dimensional figure originally was, Mr. Game & Watch was gone. _"Where did that bloke get to now?"_ Before he could ponder where his friend went, a loud _"BEEEEEP!"_ was heard by the right side of the Brawl Mansion.

"_Sounds like Game & Watch got into trouble,"_ Wolf muttered smugly as Captain Falcon dashed off to find his flat friend and left the Star Wolf leader to meditate.

* * *

"_Mr. Game & Watch, I'm here,"_ Captain Falcon yelled out as he dashed to the right side of the Brawl Mansion. He found the two-dimensional figure standing near a small crater near the kitchen window. Mr. Game & Watch acknowledged the F-Zero racer's presence nearby when he heard the racer's yell.

"_Beep,"_ Mr. Game & Watch responded and beckoned Captain Falcon to come. Falcon quickly walked forward to examine the crater. The two Brawlers found the trophy of Mario in the dead center.

"_What the!?"_ Captain Falcon shouted in disbelief. _"Mario, what's happen to you!?"_ Captain Falcon was shouting at the Mario trophy, which featured the red-clad plumber in his fighting stance.

"_What's going on?"_ several voices shouted as they made their way to Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch. The following Brawlers were Link, Toon Link, Peach, Zelda, R.O.B., Fox McCloud, Falco Lombardi, the Pokémon Trainer, Jigglypuff, Kirby, and Yoshi. Even the Nintendo villains, being Bowser, Wario, and Ganondorf, showed up at the scene.

"_What happened here?"_ Link asked urgently.

"_This,"_ Captain Falcon responded laconically as Mr. Game & Watch pulls the trophy of Mario out of the crater. There were many shocked and sad faces as they saw their heroic red plumber friend turned into a trophy.

"_Nooooo…,"_ Peach wailed loudly and wrapped her arms around her beloved plumber trophy. _"May a pox be brought upon the miserable soul who cursed Mario!"_ The Mushroom Kingdom Princess then shifted her disdainful gaze upon the three villains. _"You three smiteth Mario! Didn't you!?"_ Bowser, Wario, and Ganondorf quickly shook their heads.

"_We would have come up with something better than to turn your plumber lover into a trophy,"_ Ganondorf argued back.

"_And besides, Mario would have whipped us if we tried anything,"_ Bowser stated quickly in an attempt to calm Peach down. However, Bowser's statement also earned irritated glares from Ganondorf and Wario.

"_What a yutz,"_ Wario muttered under his breath about Bowser and clenched his big teeth.

"_Thou dost lieth,"_ Peach declared furiously. _"Lies!"_ The other Brawlers were completely taken back by Peach's irrational performance and the villains' claims of innocence.

"_Why is she speaking in Old English?"_ Toon Link asked his older counterpart quietly.

"_Beats me,"_ Link responded and shrugged. He suddenly felt Zelda cling onto his neck and prevented oxygen from entering his windpipe. _"W-What… Zelda!?"_

"_Oh, I feel her pain every time something bad happens to you,"_ Zelda said warmly and sighed longingly.

"_Uh, I am flattered that you care, Zelda, but don't you think you're being… uh… What's the word…? Oh yes… 'Possessive?'"_ Link stuttered nervously.

"_Nonsense,"_ Zelda replied cheerfully. _"My Link can never get enough affection from his lovely maiden! However…"_ She then looked at everyone else with a threatening gaze, but it was less intense than what Peach gave to the villains.

"_If any of you try to put the moves on Link, you WILL meet a terrible end by the Goddesses of Hyrule AND by my foot,"_ Zelda declared threateningly. Zelda then pointed her index finger at Jigglypuff, who looked at her with confusion and innocence in her wide teal eyes. _"Especially you, Puff Candy! I know how you look at him every time I'm not around."_ The Hylian Princess then resumed her innocent, dainty self once more and gave her attention to Link. _"Now, where were we?"_ Zelda proceeded to plant kisses on Link's neck, mortifying the Hero of Twilight to no end. Link's face started blushing bright red and his pointy elf ears were shaking.

"_Zelda, can't this wait?"_ Link asked timidly as Zelda continued kissing him. _"People are watching…" _

"_Let them watch,"_ Zelda said proudly. _"As long as we're together, you will NEVER suffer the same fate as poor Mario!"_ She then resumed kissing the Hero of Twilight's face.

"_Heh, I didn't realize that 'My Hylian Hero' was on,"_ Falco remarked sarcastically while Fox and some of the other Brawlers snickered to the comment. _"To think I came outside just to watch this bad soap opera instead of baking my cupcakes."_ Everyone then stared at Falco as though he committed treasonous murder. _"… What? A mercenary ace pilot is not allowed to make cupcakes once in a while?"_

"_You have no idea how wrong that sentence sounded,"_ Pokémon Trainer said in a low tone while his face still had a shocked expression.

"_Keep it down out there,"_ a deep, cold voice shouted from inside the kitchen. _"Some of us are actually trying to think."_ The kitchen window flew open and revealed the mysterious diminutive warrior, Meta Knight.

"_Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi?"_ Yoshi asked quickly and pointed to the lifeless Mario trophy and a hysterically sobbing Mushroom Kingdom Princess with the trophy. Meta Knight did not understand the question due to the fact that he does not speak Yoshi's language and that the green dinosaur creature spoke too fast.

"_Translation: Do you know what happened to Mario?"_ R.O.B. announced in his somewhat high-pitched robotic voice. Yoshi then pointed to the Mario trophy and Peach again to reemphasize the question.

"_Oh…, I see now,"_ Meta Knight said softly and hopped out from the kitchen window. _"I know what happened."_ All the present Brawlers, including Peach, gave the chivalrous knight their attention.

"_You see, Mario had an urge to fly in the sky with his Wing Cap on since his last adventures in Princess Peach's Castle and asked me to monitor his progress if he were to lose his Wing Cap after a few minutes,"_ Meta Knight explained coolly.

"_And why didn't thou saveth him when he fell from thy blue sky?"_ Peach asked in a calmer tone. Meta Knight simply stared at Peach because of the way she asked.

"_Why are you talking like that?"_ Meta Knight asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"_No one really knows,"_ Link interjected as he bent forward to Meta Knight before being pulled back into Zelda's heartwarming hug of death. Toon Link laughed at his realistic counterpart's predicament while Bowser, Ganondorf, and Wario made fake gagging noises and gestures regarding Link and Zelda's love.

"_Well, to answer your question, Peach, I've been working on the crossword puzzle on today's newspaper,"_ Meta Knight answered abruptly. Behind his mask, his face turned red in embarrassment after thoroughly thinking about the importance of saving Mario was greater than finishing a crossword puzzle.

"_You mean to tell me that you failed to save Mario because you were preoccupied with some stupid crossword puzzle!?"_ Peach shouted in outrage. It was palpable now that Meta Knight's incompetence caused Peach to break out of her Old-English-speaking phase.

"_Uh…, it was of great importance?"_ Meta Knight responded fearfully since he really did not want to deal with a Brawl woman outside the battlefield. All the other Brawlers, including the villains, immediately became fearful of Peach. Without saying a word, Peach took out her golf club and charged up power for her swing.

"_Fore,"_ Peach yelled out, anger replacing the cheerfulness in her clear blue eyes. The other Brawlers quickly backed away to avoid the golf swing. Meta Knight was completely paralyzed in fear, which was unlike the serious Star Warrior the Brawlers knew, loved, and are sometimes annoyed of. Peach then proceeded with her swing, slamming Meta Knight right in the metal mask. The force of the hit was so strong that it knocked Meta Knight's mask right into the sky and straight into oblivion. As for Meta Knight, he was sent straight into the wall face-first.

"_Poyo?"_ Kirby said in a concerned tone for his friend and ran over to the older Star Warrior. The little pink puffball of a Star Warrior then tugged on Meta Knight's purple cape to pull him out of the wall. Unfortunately, Kirby was struggling with prying Meta Knight off the wall so Fox and Falco went to assist the pink puffball. Kirby continued tugging Meta Knight's cape while Fox and Falco grabbed a pair of Meta Knight's hands and feet. After a few seconds of pulling, Meta Knight came out of the wall. The rest of the Brawlers were in for a shock when they were about to see Meta Knight's real face.

"_M-Meta Knight, y-you look like…,"_ Bowser stuttered while holding back great laughter. Wario and Ganondorf were both completely drunk in laughter.

"_Jigglypuuuuuff,"_ Jigglypuff purred with her big eyes in a dreamlike stare.

"_Translation: … a hunky version of Kirby,"_ R.O.B. replied to finish Bowser's sentence with Jigglypuff's words. It was true: Meta Knight's facial traits did look extremely similar Kirby's face. The only differences between the two Star Warriors' faces were that Meta Knight's face was blue and his eyes were really white instead of yellow when he wore his mask.

"_Poyo,"_ Kirby exclaimed happily due to the fact that Meta Knight was finally freed from the wall, but did not notice Meta Knight's humiliation taking place. In a huff, Meta Knight proceeded to storm back into the Brawl Mansion.

"_I will have my revenge on you…,"_ Meta Knight threatened callously but then stopped when he realized his voice has completed changed when he lost his mask. Instead of his voice sounding in its usual serious, cold, and gruff tone, his voice sounded almost like Kirby's high-pitched, squeaky voice. All present Brawlers began laughing at Meta Knight's misfortune. Not wanting to embarrass himself further, Meta Knight transformed his cape into bat wings and prepared to fly away.

"_Not so fast,"_ Peach yell out, twirling a rope in the air.

"_Where did she get that rope?"_ Captain Falcon asked stupidly.

"_Does that even matter right now?"_ Ganondorf responded harshly. _"Just continue watching the show, Captain Obvious."_ The Brawlers watched Peach ensnare Meta Knight's wings with her rope. Since the rope has restricted the wings' movement, Meta Knight could not transform them back into his cape.

"_Yoshi Yoshi,"_ Yoshi said sadly.

"_Yes, I concur,"_ R.O.B. said dully. _"I have pity for 'poor Meta Knight' as well, Yoshi."_

"_It's time for your lesson in manners, etiquette, and paying attention to Mario when he tries out dangerous stuff, Meta Knight,"_ Peach announced in a strangely calm and happy tone and dragged Meta Knight along with her.

'_Noooo-hohoho,"_ Meta Knight cried out and struggled in desperation. _"Wait a minute, I almost forgot."_ With a swift flick of the wrist, Meta Knight's sword, Galaxia, appeared out of nowhere in its golden, spiky glory. However, a sudden pull by Peach caused the completely humiliated Star Warrior to drop his fabled sword.

"_You'll have this back when the lesson is over,"_ Peach said in a sickly sweet tone as she picked up Galaxia and continued dragging the defeated and shameful Meta Knight into the Brawl Mansion.

"_This day just keeps getting weirder ever since we found Wolf meditating in the backyard,"_ Captain Falcon whispered to Mr. Game & Watch once Peach and the tied-up Meta Knight went inside. _"But you know Game & Watch? I don't think it can get worse than this!"_

"_Beep,"_ Mr. Game & Watch responded doubtfully.

"_I did not know girls are very… aggressive,"_ R.O.B. stated in a monotonous tone.

"_Hey, I resent that,"_ Zelda spoke up immediately and was about to hurt the confused Robotic Operating Buddy, but Link was able to stop her.

"_Zelda, please don't be angry at the robot,"_ Link pleaded and looked into Zelda's blue eyes. _"He does not know anything about emotions."_ Zelda's rage quickly faded away as she was swept off her feet and into Link's arms. _"Now then, how about I give you your monthly foot massage? You did tell me how much your boots hurt you more than your opponents do in battle."_

"_Oh Link… My Link…,"_ Zelda said lovingly in a dreamlike trance and they both kissed each other on the lips, earning the couple astonished stares from the other Brawlers, especially Toon Link. Both Hylian lovers were blushing as Link then carried his Hylian Princess back into the mansion for her foot massage.

"_Man, is that what Hylian romances are about!?"_ Toon Link whined annoyingly. _"Giving your girl foot rubs? Gross! I may never look at Tetra the same way ever again…"_

"_Don't worry about love at your age now, kid,"_ Captain Falcon said comfortingly. _"You should have fun with boys your age right now, like Ness and Lucas!"_

"_Whatever,"_ Toon Link responded curtly. _"Speaking of Ness and Lucas, I'm going to find them right now. All I know is that I'm NEVER going to give Tetra foot rubs! The thought of it alone makes me… Huuurgh… I don't… feel so… good…"_ The small cel-shaded Link quickly ran off into the Brawl Mansion to find a place to vomit quickly before finding Ness and Lucas.

"_Well, my work here is done,"_ Captain Falcon said proudly and then grabbed both R.O.B. and Mr. Game & Watch. _"Come on, boys! Time to work out in the gym like real men!"_

"_Beep,"_ Mr. Game & Watch protested.

"_I agree with Mr. Game & Watch,"_ R.O.B. said monotonously. _"I have to recharge my batteries and Mr. Game & Watch has to take his 10:00 nap before lunch. You know how he gets when he doesn't get his nap after sleep."_ Unfortunately, the two Brawlers' pleas fell on Captain Falcon's deaf ears as he dashed off to the gym with R.O.B. and Mr. Game & Watch in his arms.

"_I'm going to check up on Pikachu and Lucario,"_ Pokémon Trainer announced casually before taking his leave. As soon as the Pokémon Trainer left, loud growls were heard from Kirby's and Yoshi's stomachs. The two most ravenous eaters among the Brawlers briefly looked at each other before having a race to the kitchen.

"_Hey, you two had better not touch my cupcakes before they've finished baking if you know what's good for you,"_ Falco yelled out in his tough-guy Brooklyn accent and chased the two cute creatures. _"I'll make ravioli out of you two!" _

"_Falco, wait up,"_ Fox called out and ran after his teammate. All that were left behind were Jigglypuff, Bowser, Wario, Ganondorf, and the Mario trophy in which everyone practically forgot about.

"_Well, it's time to take our leave as well,"_ Ganondorf declared in a bored tone and was about to walk away until Bowser placed a claw on his black shoulder guard.

"_Wait,"_ Bowser said shortly. _"In all the excitement, we forgot to revive Mario."_ Ganondorf looked at him disbelievingly.

"_Why do you want to revive your number one rival, Bowser?"_ Ganondorf asked in a confused tone of voice. _"I thought you wanted Mario gone."_

"_Mario is only gone when I'M the one who gets rid of him,"_ Bowser declared haughtily. Bowser stomped towards the Mario trophy and was about to place his claw on the trophy stand when heard munching. Before he had a chance to revive Mario, he quickly turned around to see Wario using his Chomp attack on Jigglypuff.

"…_PUFF… PUFF… PUFF…,"_ the Balloon Pokémon cried out in pain as Wario continued chomping it.

"_Wario, what are you doing?"_ Bowser asked in disbelief. The Koopa King's sudden turn caused his spiked tail to knock the poor Mario trophy onto its side. It was now apparent that everyone has forgotten about Mario's incident.

"_What does it look like he's doing, Shell-for-Brains?"_ Ganondorf responded sardonically. _"Wario is chewing Jigglypuff."_

"_I know, Ganon-dork,"_ Bowser answered back angrily. _"What I want to know is why Wario was chewing Jigglypuff in the first place."_ Wario heard this and proceeded to spit out Jigglypuff, who is now in a complete daze, soaked in Wario's saliva, and smells like garlic.

"_Oh, uh, do you remember when Zelda called Jigglypuff 'Puff Candy' and…?"_ Wario explained nonchalantly, but Ganondorf raised an arm to stop him.

"_So you took her word for granted?"_ Ganondorf asked in an aggravated tone while Bowser laughed his spiky shell off.

"_Man, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of,"_ Bowser exclaimed in his laughs before quieting down. _"Okay then. Let's all chew on Jigglypuff!"_ Hearing this, the traumatized Pokémon charged her Rollout to match Sonic's speed as close as possible and rolled away.

"_Smooth move telling her all of that,"_ Wario said heatedly. _"How are we supposed to catch up with the rolling Puff Candy?"_ With evil glints in the other two villains' eyes, Wario immediately got the hint. The three Nintendo villains took out three Smash Balls they stole from Item Storage and consequently broke them to use their Final Smashes. Bowser transformed into Giga Bowser, Ganondorf became the Dark Beast Ganon, and Wario donned the Wario-Man costume. All three transformed villains quickly took off after Jigglypuff, leaving the Mario trophy to gather dust.

"_Poor… poor… plumber,"_ a feminine voice said out of nowhere in a gentle tone of voice. In a matter of seconds, an energy whip came down from the sky and ensnared the Mario trophy, taking the stationary plumber to his uncertain doom.

* * *

"_Ha, I got you now, Lucas,"_ Ness yelled out confidently.

"_I don't think so, Ness,"_ Lucas responded in a less confident tone.

The two PSI-powered youth were playing _Super Smash Bros. Brawl_ on the Nintendo Wii in the game room. Ironically enough, Ness and Lucas were playing as themselves instead of the other thirty-three characters available. The two psychic boys were currently in a ten stock match in Earthbound: New Pork City with Ness leading ahead by one stock. Lucas only has three lives left. As of now, Ness managed to break a Smash Ball that came out ten second ago. But before Ness could use his blue PK Starstorm, Lucas knocked the Smash Ball out of the Onett native with a common stick. The Smash Ball was now up for grabs and both boys were trying to smash it without being smashed by the Ultimate Chimera and its little canary.

"_Lucas, how could you?"_ Ness moaned sadly. _"I was so close to beat you!"_

"_Why?"_ Lucas asked back in a strangely defiant tone. _"So that you'll make me agree to not tell people about that crush you had on Paula?"_ Ness suddenly pounced on the now terrified PK user of Tazumili Village.

"_I told you not to say it OUT LOUD,"_ Ness screamed out furiously and strangled Lucas to the point that Lucas' head turned blue. While the two PSI-powered boys had their outside battle, the Ice Climbers, Popo and Nana, walked in on them. They were both shocked at the senseless violence between Ness and Lucas.

"_What are you two doing!?"_ Nana asked loudly while Popo was secretly rooting for Ness. _"Well?"_

"_Ness is beating me up because I almost proclaimed loudly Ness' crush on Paul-aaahhhhh…,"_ Lucas groaned out inadvertently, but Ness stopped him by jumping on his stomach. The two Ice Climbers then smiled at each other.

"_So our Ness is in love with someone at his home country,"_ Nana sang blissfully while Popo was rolling around on the floor in laughter. Hearing this, Ness became flushed with embarrassment. He punched out Lucas, took out his baseball bat, and started a tantrum.

"_I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T,"_ Ness chanted angrily and swung his baseball bat around, scaring the Ice Climbers out of the room. Toon Link was on his way to the game room when he saw Popo and Nana screaming and running out of the room.

"_Hey, Ness?"_ Toon Link called out before entering the game room. His mind was finally cleared of the thought of rubbing Tetra's sweaty pirate feet as a token of love after letting the vomit right out of his system. _"Why are Popo and Nana scream-IIINNNGGG!?"_ The Hero of Winds watched Ness swing his bat wildly around the room and saw Lucas unconscious for the most part.

"_I'M VERY ANGRY,"_ Ness shouted irately with his eyes closed for the most part. Unfortunately, when Toon Link went to calm Ness down, Ness slammed his bat right in the center of Toon Link's stomach. Ness finally calmed down when he saw Toon Link staggering in pain while clutching his stomach and his big cat eyes wincing. Toon Link then heard a familiar gurgling in his stomach.

"_Uh-oh, Toon Link, you okay?"_ Ness said in a concerned tone for his sword-wielding friend.

"_Oh, no,"_ Toon Link moaned in a sickly fashion. _"… Not… urrrgh… again…"_ While the Hero of Winds was holding back his instinct to throw up again, Lucas woke up. However, the blond psychic user was still in a daze from Ness' rage. Lucas was able to acknowledge Toon Link's presence in the room.

"_Hey Toon Link, did I ever you that Ness told me that your vomits look like…,"_ Lucas said dazedly, but was beaten up by Ness again before he could finish.

"_You're not supposed to tell him about THAT, Lucas,"_ Ness exclaimed while pounding the blond PSI-powered boy back into unconsciousness. While Ness continued to beat up Lucas, Toon Link ran back out to find a place to vomit again.

* * *

"_Oh, yeah,"_ Luigi said confidently as he stepped on the right arrow and got a "Perfect." The green-clad plumber was playing _DDR: Mario Mix_ on Story mode as himself in the DDR room. _"This-a so beats brawling! Ha! Take-a that, Waluigi! To you and-a your Destruction Dance-a!"_ While Luigi continued playing _DDR: Mario Mix_ against Waluigi, Marth and Ike walked in the DDR room.

"_Is that Luigi playing DDR: Mario Mix?"_ Ike asked the Prince of Altea in a curious tone.

"_Hai,"_ Marth responded affirmatively in Japanese.

"_Marth, I know that you're now capable of speaking English,"_ Ike said wearily. _"The other Brawlers are now fed up of you speaking Japanese because no one except R.O.B. and I can understand you."_ Marth still shook his head, refusing to speak English once again.

"_Wa-hoo,"_ Luigi shouted in delight after trouncing Waluigi and sending him into a humiliating defeat. _"Luigi's number one!"_

"_That's because the difficulty level is set on easy, isn't it?"_ Ike said in an unimpressed tone. Luigi was shocked to hear someone in the DDR room as well. The green-clad plumber turned around and saw Marth and Ike staring at him so he jumped towards them.

"_What-a are you talking about-a?"_ Luigi asked in a false confident tone. _"The level was-a on hard!"_

"_Spare us, Luigi,"_ Ike spoke impassively. _"We all know that you couldn't defeat Waluigi on normal level after forty-two tries. And Mario was the one who defeated him for you on the forty-seventh try."_ Suddenly, Marth shouted something in Japanese that included something about Mario.

"_I had-a no idea what you said-a, Marth,"_ Luigi responded in a confused tone. _"Why can't-a you speak-a English?"_

"_Actually, he can,"_ Ike said in Marth's defense. _"He says that he doesn't want to change languages now."_

"_Oh, I can-a help him with-a that,"_ Luigi announced optimistically and took out a Smash Ball from his pocket. Ike and Marth stared in horror on what Luigi was about to do.

"_Luigi, wait,"_ Ike pleaded uneasily. _"There are other ways to get Marth to speak English! Please don't use the Negative Zone!"_ It was too late as Luigi chopped the Smash Ball and activated the Negative Zone.

"_La li lu le lo… La li lu le lo… La li lu le lo…,"_ Luigi chanted as a sorcerous incantation while he performed a hypnotic dance and an exotic, warped version of the _Luigi's Mansion_ theme played.

The color-inverted bubble, known as the Negative Zone to all, began affecting the two swordsmen in various ways. Flowers grew on their heads and Ike passed out into dizziness. As for Marth, he fell asleep. Toon Link, who had recently recovered from vomiting after receiving an accidental baseball bat slam in the stomach by Ness, was coincidentally outside the DDR room. The Negative Zone was still growing and captured the Hero of Winds within its radius. Toon Link's wide cat eyes became even wider if possible when he entered the Negative Zone. The dark magic of the Negative Zone ironically caused Toon Link to have another urge to heave up chunks. Toon Link ran away once again to find another place to throw up for the third time in a row.

"_Wake-a up, Marth,"_ Luigi said repeatedly after finishing his Negative Zone dance and slapped him on the face.

"_Stop it,"_ Marth finally cried out in pain from sleeping. _"You are ruining my beautiful face, you barbaric green plumber!"_

"_Looks like you're awake and speaking English,"_ Ike said after waking up. The Negative Zone soon started to shrink back into nothingness.

"_Oui, I'm speaking English,"_ Marth said in a strange French accent, catching both Luigi and Ike off guard. _"Now zat's the Negative Zone is fini, I am now tres bien!"_

"_Wait a minute,"_ Ike yelled out exasperatedly. _"You never told me that you can speak French too!"_ At that moment, Lucas, whose face was covered in bruises and blond hair and clothes were messed up, walked by the doorway.

"_Hey, did you guys know that Marth wanted to take French classes instead of English classes like he told me the other time?"_ Lucas asked in a dizzy-like manner, but Ness pounced upon him again and strangled him.

"_How many secrets are you going to spill in one day, Lucas!?"_ Ness shouted in madness. _"First you proclaimed loudly my crush on Paula to Popo and Nana! Then you almost told Toon Link what I said his vomits looked like! And then you told Peach and Meta Knight about Samus' abduction of Mario after we promised her not to tell! And after that you told Pit that Goddess Palutena was a… a… I don't even want to repeat what you called her! And now you said that Marth took French classes!"_ Luigi, Ike, and Marth stared awkwardly at the two PSI-powered youth trying to murder each other. However, a secret Ness claimed that Lucas spilled out caught Luigi's attention.

"_Hey, Ness,"_ Luigi called out to Ness, saving Lucas' life. _"What was the third thing you said about Lucas spilling secrets?"_

"_About what I thought Toon Link's vomits looked like?"_ Ness answered uncertainly.

"_No, after that-a,"_ Luigi responded calmly.

"_The descriptive, but rude something that Lucas called Palutena in front of Pit?"_ Ness answered tentatively.

"_No, in-a the middle,"_ Luigi said impatiently.

"_That Samus abducted the Mario trophy and she made Lucas and I promise not to tell, but Lucas involuntarily told Peach and a maskless Meta Knight and now Peach is storming around Brawl Mansion in search of Mario while swinging Meta Knight around with his wings tied in a rope like some sort of sulking mace and hysterically destroying furniture with his golden sword?"_ Ness answered truthfully, causing the mouths of Luigi and Ike to drop agape.

"_Zat's what I've been trying to tell you, Luigi,"_ Marth announced impatiently. _"I was going to tell you zat Mario has gone missing! I aven't seen him since breakfast! Come to think of eet, I aven't seen ze lovely Samus since breakfast as well."_ Luigi then started to panic over his missing brother.

"_Mama mia,"_ Luigi cried out in distress. _"Mario and Samus are-a missing and Peach has gone-a crazy! What do we-a do!?"_

"_Easy,"_ Ike responded shortly. _"First we find Samus. Then we revive Mario. And finally we calm the heck down Peach before the Brawl Mansion is destroyed and/or Meta Knight becomes scarred for life. Sound simple enough?"_

"_Yes,"_ Luigi said affirmatively.

"_Oui,"_ Marth said confidently and held up his sword, Falchion, in the air.

"_Will you-a stop with the bad French accent-a?"_ Luigi asked in an irritated tone of voice.

"_Baka,"_ Marth muttered rudely under his breath about Luigi.

"_Just-a because you-a know how to-a speak three languages, that-a doesn't mean-a you are the Prince-a of the Brawl Mansion,"_ Luigi retorted in a confident intensity that ALMOST matches his brother's own intensity.

"_If you two are done bickering, then let's find Mario,"_ Ike announced calmly. Luigi, Ike, and Marth left the DDR room to find Mario and Samus while Ness continued to beat the snot out of Lucas.

* * *

"_Oh, Mario,"_ Samus purred lustfully at the Mario trophy in her closet, which was a secret shrine dedicated to the Mushroom Kingdom hero. The secret shrine contained everything from the first arcade game Mario starred in to posters, Mini Mario toys, and accessories made in the image of the red-clad plumber.

The intergalactic bounty hunter in her Zero Suit found the Mario trophy outside the kitchen window after the remaining Brawlers left without remembering to revive him so she sought to keep Mario for herself. She had a few close calls about her secret crush on Mario being exposed without her say-so, specifically with Ness and Lucas. She made the two psychic boys promise not to tell anyone between her and Mario, but she knew Lucas would somehow give it away. Samus was especially worried if Peach found out that the Mario trophy has gone missing, but she knew she might have a chance surviving the predicted onslaught.

"_So Mario, do you come here often?"_ Samus asked in a gentle voice to the lifeless trophy. By the law of nature, the Mario trophy made no response. It just stood there with the red-clad plumber in his special fighting stance. His right arm was held out in front, his left hand formed a fist, and his knees were bent. His bushy mustache was particularly shiny.

"_I thought so,"_ Samus said amusedly. She knew she was talking to a motionless Mario, but she did not want to revive him immediately. _"You are so amazing in everything you do, dear Mario."_ And again, the Mario trophy could not make a response. Samus was not worried about Mario knowing their little interaction since he was a trophy. And if Mario does come out of his trophy-like state, then he would not have any memory prior to his trophification.

"_Oh Mario, you want to do what?"_ Samus asked playfully with her cheeks blushing a bright scarlet, thinking that the real Mario asked her to smother him with her kisses. _"Anything for MY hero!"_ Samus proceeded to wrap her arms around the Mario trophy and allowing her long blond ponytail to lie upon his outstretched right arm. She then started planted kisses on Mario's face and placed a passionate kiss on the trophy's mouth. However, before Samus could give the Mario trophy the best kiss possible, she sensed that she was being watched. Samus reluctantly turned around to see Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong staring wide-eyed and with open mouths at her doorway.

"_What are you two gawking at?"_ Samus asked furiously. The two Kongs looked at each briefly before darting off at the speed of light. Diddy Kong's red Nintendo hat comically flew off the little chimp's head when Diddy and his uncle ran away, but Diddy's long tail grabbed it and Diddy resumed running. _"Get back here, you hairy Neanderthals!"_ Samus was about to take off as well to prevent Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong from spreading her secret, but not before giving the trophy of her favorite red-clad hero a kiss good-bye.

* * *

"_Ooh ooh rraagh,"_ Donkey Kong muttered breathlessly. Both he and Diddy got away from Samus, who was about to place their furry pelts at the foot of her bed. Both Kongs were hiding in another corridor, looking back to see if the furious intergalactic bounty hunter was still on their tails.

"_Hello, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong,"_ a somewhat high-pitched and monotonous voice chimed in behind the two Kongs. The primates looked to see R.O.B., who looked like he was about to fall into pieces.

"_Eek ook eek?"_ Diddy chirped questioningly.

"_Captain Falcon took Mr. Game & Watch and I to the Brawl Gym an hour ago,"_ the Robotic Operating Buddy answered lifelessly. R.O.B.'s left arm screw suddenly fell off from the robot's shoulder and humorously rolled away. _"What are you two up to anyway?"_

"_Ooh ooh rooaar arrrgh,"_ Donkey Kong grunted quietly to avoid detection from any Brawler who was working for Samus.

"_So you two spied on Samus Aran's private affairs,"_ R.O.B. repeated from the big ape's grunts. _"And now she is going to rest your pelts at the foot of her bed."_

"_Eek ooh eek ooh eek ooh,"_ Diddy screeched in a whining tone.

"_I know that you never told me of the latter, but that was what I assumed she would do to you,"_ R.O.B. responded nonchalantly. Both Kongs glared at the robot, but Donkey Kong was suddenly struck with an idea to get rid of Samus.

"_Ooh ooh wraagh ooh ooh,"_ Donkey Kong hooted silently. Both Diddy and R.O.B. gave the red-tie-wearing ape appalled facial expressions.

"_You sick monkey,"_ R.O.B. said with his usually monotonous voice distorted in disgust. _"I cannot believe you suggested doing THAT to Samus. Shame on you." _

"_Eek ooh eek wraagh?"_ Diddy Kong suggested as a more humane alternative to Donkey Kong's somewhat psychotic plan.

"_That plan sounds… gross,"_ R.O.B. said with his monotonous voice back to normal. _"But not as… Well… You know what I mean… So please leave me out of this."_ With that said and done, Donkey Kong grabbed a bean burrito out of who-knows-where and swallowed it immediately. The three Brawlers waited for Samus to come down their corridor to spring their surprise attack. They heard soft, light footsteps coming down the hallway. As soon as the footsteps sounded as near as possible, Donkey Kong leapt into action by jumping right in front who he thought was Samus, pointed his big rear-end at her, and started farting.

"_What the…!?"_ a high-pitched, boyish voice yelled out in shock. _"Donkey Kong!? What are you…"_ The unfortunate Brawler started coughing from Donkey Kong's farts and tried to run away, but the big ape chased the Brawler without seeing who he was attacking and continued farting. Diddy was rolling on the flooring and was laughing his hat off.

"_Yes, 'Samus eating DK's farts' would be something to say in this situation if Samus was actually the one 'eating' Donkey Kong's flatulence attacks,"_ R.O.B. said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Diddy immediately stopped laughing and stood up in shock to see what the robot said was true. Running around the hallway in circles were Donkey Kong and…

"_EEK,"_ Diddy screeched loudly as Donkey Kong was farting at Toon Link's expressive face, who had recently recovered from vomiting after exposure to Luigi's Negative Zone.

"_DK, stop,"_ Toon Link pleaded desperately as he ran away from an ape which was having too much fun farting in his face. _"It's me! Toon L… bleaaargh!"_ While Toon Link tried to get away from Donkey Kong, he tripped flat on his stomach and vomited once again. Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, and R.O.B. stared in horror at the mistake they made.

"_I will let the night guy clean that up,"_ R.O.B. stated quickly about Toon Link and his fourth vomit of the day and left inconspicuously. The two Kongs were confused on what to do with the unconscious Hero of Winds and his messy stomach residue.

"_May I help you with that?"_ a charming, feminine voice asked politely behind Donkey Kong and Diddy.

"_Ook,"_ both primates grunted affirmatively. Before they were about to pick up Toon Link, they realized whose voice that spoke to them belonged to. Diddy and Donkey Kong slowly and fearfully turned around to see Samus pointing her Paralyzer pointed at both of them.

"_Hello, boys,"_ Samus said calmly while the Kongs continued staring at her with horror in their beady eyes. _"You know it's not polite to stare, even if you two are monkeys."_ She then started charging her Paralyzer and was soon ready to fire at will. _"Say 'Hello' to my little friend! Any last grunts, hoots, roars, and any other manners of speech Kongs use?"_ The only responses Samus received from the Kongs were them backing away in fear. However, it was not Samus they were afraid of. Suddenly, a dainty gloved hand lightly tapped the intergalactic bounty hunter on her right shoulder.

"_Now is not a good time,"_ Samus responded coolly. The gloved hand tapped her on the shoulder again. _"I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now."_ The gloved hand tapped her shoulder for the third time. _"Listen, you…"_ Samus became impatient with the person tapping her so she quickly turned around and discovered her annoyance to be Princess Peach.

"_Hi, Samus,"_ Peach said in a strangely blissful manner. In one hand, she held a rope that led back to a sulking, maskless Meta Knight whose purple bat wings were completely tied up. In her other hand, she held Meta Knight's sword, Galaxia.

"_WRRAAAGGHH,"_ both Kongs shrieked horrendously at Peach's presence and quickly ran away.

"_Uh, Peach,"_ Samus said as casually as possible to hide her growing fear for the hysterical Mushroom Kingdom Princess. _"What brings you to these parts? Heh…"_

"_I just want to… talk,"_ Peach answered in an eerily calm demeanor and flashed a wide, somewhat maniacal grin at the intergalactic bounty hunter.

"_I don't like where this is going,"_ Samus thought as she nervously backed away from the crazy and well-armed Mushroom Kingdom Princess.

* * *

"_Pikachu, do you have to eat that!?"_ Lucario shouted in disgust using his telepathy. Lucario was grossed out by the fact that Pikachu was eating a block of cheese dipped in ketchup in their room at the Pokémon series corridor. One fun thing about Pikachu and Lucario being roommates at least is that their room is in between Jigglypuff's room and the Pokémon Trainer's room.

"_Pika Pika,"_ Pikachu reasoned back and licked some of the tomato sauce of the dairy product.

"_I do not care if your mama told you that it's delicious,"_ Lucario growled in outrage. _"Put that thing away!"_

"_Pika Pi Pikachu,"_ Pikachu taunted in a very sassy manner.

"_You will regret saying that to me,"_ Lucario responded heatedly through telepathy. The Aura Pokémon quickly formed an Aura Sphere to knock the ketchup-covered cheese out of Pikachu's paws. _"The Aura is with me!"_

"_Pika Pi Pika Pi,"_ Pikachu repeated sarcastically and pretended to hold his block of cheese like an Aura Sphere.

"_And that is where I draw the line,"_ Lucario announced in calm anger. He threw a full size Aura Sphere at the Electric Mouse Pokémon, successfully knocking away the cheese covered in ketchup and sending Pikachu right into a wall. At that moment, five of Captain Olimar's Red Pikmin infiltrated the two Pokémon's room and made off with Pikachu's cheese.

"_Pika Pikachu?"_ Pikachu asked in a confused tone.

"_No, I do not know why Olimar sent his Pikmin to capture your precious cheese and it is NOT because Olimar likes cheese with ketchup,"_ Lucario explained coolly. _"From what I've heard, Olimar and Toon Link are the only Brawlers to be allergic to ketchup, which is a very strange allergy indeed since their tiny bodies can somehow handle Maxim Tomatoes in battle."_

"_SQUIRTLE,"_ Squirtle, a member of the Pokémon Trainer's team, shrieked in horror outside Pikachu and Lucario's room. Squirtle suddenly fired a Water Gun attack as seen through the open doorway, which instantly killed most of the Red Pikmin that carried Pikachu's ketchup-covered cheese.

"_Sounds like Squirtle found your cheese, Pikachu,"_ Lucario said smugly in its telepathic voice. _"You did realize the natural animosity between the Pokémon Trainer's Squirtle and cheese covered in ketchup. Did you?"_

"_Pika Pi…,"_ Pikachu responded dejectedly.

* * *

"_After all of-a this running, how come we-a haven't found-a Mario yet?"_ Luigi asked Marth and Ike impatiently. The three Brawlers searched almost every nook and cranny in the Brawl Mansion, but they found no signs of Mario or Samus. Suddenly, Luigi accidentally bumped into Captain Olimar and tripped over him.

"_L-Luigi?"_ Olimar asked when he helped the green-clad plumber up on his feet. Olimar was looking distressed for some reason.

"_Olimar, what's wrong?"_ Ike asked in a concerned tone for the diminutive space traveler.

"_All my Pikmin have gone missing,"_ Olimar answered in a panicking manner. _"I was afraid that THIS time of year caused them to scatter around this mansion."_

"_What is-a today anyway?"_ Luigi asked casually.

"_Today is 'Onion-Inspection Day' for the Pikmin,"_ Olimar responded truthfully.

"_You mean to say zat the Pikmin hate zis 'Onion-Inspection Day,' Olimar?"_ Marth asked calmly. Olimar was quite shocked at first to hear Marth speaking English and French, but the Hocotate native decided that it was not important to worry about at the moment.

"_On the contrary, the Pikmin LOVE 'Onion-Inspection Day,' Marth,"_ Olimar replied distressfully. _"Since they are all free from their Onions, they are free to roam around this place until nighttime. Who knows what danger they are causing now?" _King Dedede suddenly appeared from a room nearby with many Pikmin attacking him.

"_Gua… Get them off me,"_ Dedede cried out in desperation as Red, Blue, and Purple Pikmin were all over his big regal body. _"Wargh!!"_ Olimar quickly used his whistle, known as his Pikmin Order in the battlefield, to call back the Pikmin to his side. _"You know, you ought to put these vegetables with legs on a leash, Olimar!"_ In a huff, King Dedede walked back into the room he came out of.

"_This is taking too long,"_ Olimar said impatiently. Suddenly, another shriek of terror came out of another room nearby. Olimar, Luigi, Ike, and Marth ran to find the source of the scream and it turned out to be Zelda's room. The Hylian Princess, who was barefoot at the moment, ran out of her room screaming and saw Olimar and the other three Brawlers coming to her.

"_Olimar, thank the Goddesses you are here,"_ Zelda said in relief. _"I was humming a special lullaby for Link in gratitude for my soothing foot massage. As soon as I was about to fall asleep with my handsome hero, few of your Pikmin were on top of him. Seeing as they were cute and harmless, I allowed them to stay. But then, more of them appeared and started molesting Link!"_ Link started shouting for help inside the room, almost bringing Zelda to tears.

"_Why-a can't you take care of-a them?"_ Luigi asked in a confused tone.

"_Because I told all of you not to harm my Pikmin outside the battlefield,"_ Olimar answered in Zelda's stead. _"Surprisingly, even Bowser, Ganondorf, and Wario agreed to my request. The Pikmin are my responsibility."_ Link screamed again, making the Hylian Princess collapse on her knees in front of Olimar.

"_Please, I don't want to hurt the innocent creatures,"_ Zelda pleaded pitifully.

"_Well, the Pikmin are really not at fault here since they are somewhat simpleminded plant creatures that are able to follow the commands of the person who plucks them out of the ground,"_ Ike said philosophically.

"_I did not think it would come to this, but it must be done,"_ Olimar muttered solemnly.

"_What?"_ Marth asked anxiously.

"_This,"_ Olimar replied laconically. The Hocotate space captain pressed several buttons on his space suit while Link gave out several agonized shrieks and Zelda clutched her painful heart. When he finally finished, he spoke, _"How's this?"_ Olimar's voice has completely changed to a soothing and beautiful female Japanese singer voice. Luigi, Marth, Ike, and Zelda were in shock from hearing Olimar's new voice.

"_Olimar, how…"_ Luigi asked, but was still awestruck.

"_No time,"_ Olimar responded melodiously. He then hummed a few soft notes, catching the attention of the Pikmin in Zelda's room. _"Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I."_ The Pikmin then began humming along to the tune.

"_Is zat what I think eet is?"_ Marth asked after hearing the familiar and famous melody of the song Olimar hummed that soothed the savage Pikmin.

"_In you and I, there's a new laaaaand,"_ Olimar sang beautifully. The Pikmin continued humming along to the tune and followed Olimar out. _"Angels in flight… Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I…"_

"_My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah,"_ the Pikmin warbled adorably. Soon, more Pikmin came out of the other rooms and joined the chorus as Olimar led them out.

"_Where fears and lies melt awaaaayyy,"_ Olimar sang soothingly as he and the Pikmin trailed off. _"Music inside… Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I…"_

"_What's left of me, what's left of me now,"_ the Pikmin trilled cutely before disappearing in the distance with their captain. The other Brawlers were still completely awestruck at Olimar's singing and the Pikmin's sudden change in behavior in hearing that song. Link walked outside, his green tunic and hat slightly ruffled. Despite what the Pikmin have done to the Hero of Twilight, Link came out virtually unscathed.

"_You know, I remembered the first time I played that Playstation game with that awesome song,"_ Link said happily.

"_Link,"_ Zelda shouted in joy and forcibly pushed him back into her room and slammed the door tight. On the front of the door, there was a sign that said _"Do NOT Disturb! (… Lest the Goddesses of Hyrule smite you… Ganondork!)"_

"_Wow,"_ Luigi said in an astounded manner. _"When-a Zelda wants her private time-a with Link, she-a really meant it. It kind-a reminds me of-a Mario and Peach… Mario! We have-a to go find him!"_

"_Right,"_ Marth and Ike agreed in unison. Luigi and the two sword-wielding Brawlers immediately left to allow Link and Zelda their private time.

* * *

"_All my fear and all our lies…,"_ Olimar sang breathlessly, but still beautifully.

"… _Melt awaaaayyy…,"_ the Pikmin hummed in high pitch for the finale. Olimar and all his Pikmin have gathered in the backyard where Wolf was still meditating. The Star Wolf leader did not care about Olimar and his Pikmin nearby.

"_Well, that's the end of it,"_ Olimar thought as he gathered five hundred Pikmin of all five colors behind him. Out of nowhere, Sonic the Hedgehog plowed through his Pikmin army without noticing and killed some of them.

"_Heh, you're too slow, Snake,"_ Sonic said tauntingly to the legendary soldier of fortune huffing behind while holding Kirby as some sort of weapon. There was shaving cream on Solid Snake's face and it looked like half of his rugged beard was shaved off. Snake did not really bother cleaning up his face since all he could think of now was how to stop Sonic.

"_You are going to pay for playing that stupid sleeping trick on me, Hedgehog,"_ Snake shouted gruffly and cocked Kirby's feet as some sort of gun. To Olimar, who was watching the whole thing, Snake wants to capture the blue hedgehog for pulling the "Put shaving cream on Solid Snake's hand while he sleeps, tickle his nose so that he would smear it on his face, and shave that annoying beard off" trick. Despite having an IQ of 180, Snake's plans on capturing Sonic proved fruitless. The legendary soldier of fortune decided to do it the old fashion way.

"_Poyo?"_ Kirby asked in a confused tone of voice.

"_Don't worry, little pink thing,"_ Snake mumbled to the pink Star Warrior. _"For dinner, you are going to have 'Flaming Blue Hedgehog a la Snake' in well done. And if that somehow doesn't work, then I'll just mail that irritating blue hedgehog to Hollywood since I know that speedy blue hedgehogs and big cities do not mix."_ Snake then threw a hand grenade at Sonic, but it landed short among Olimar's Pikmin army. After a few seconds, the grenade exploded and killed half of the Pikmin.

"_All that hard work…,"_ Olimar said in his own voice before fainting from losing more than half oh his Pikmin by Sonic's and Snake's mishaps. Now that Olimar fainted, the Pikmin decided to go into idle stand-by phase.

"_You'll have to catch me if you can, Snakey,"_ Sonic called out lightheartedly before running off. The speed Sonic was running at was not his real speed; he was just toying with Snake by taking it easy.

"_Grraagggh,"_ Snake shouted in anger as he chased after Sonic with Kirby on hand.

"_JIGGLYPUFF,"_ Jigglypuff screamed as she continued rolling away from Wario, Bowser, and Ganondorf and accidentally rolled over some of Olimar's Pikmin. The three villainous Brawlers were still after their presumed "Puff Candy" and inadvertently trampled over some more Pikmin.

"_Peach, stop,"_ Samus yelled out as she was carrying the Mario trophy. Peach was on her tail, wildly swinging the still maskless Meta Knight around in circles. Samus tripped over her two feet and the Mario trophy fell out of her hands, crushing some of the idle Pikmin. _"Mario is mine now!"_

"_Not while I have these two to fight for him with,"_ Peach responded violently, referring to her sulking Meta Knight mace and Galaxia.

"_How mortifying it has been for me today,"_ Meta Knight thought as he remembered when he was first subjected to tea party with Peach before becoming a mere toy of destruction for her to use at her disposal. _"I-wwhoooaaaa…"_ Meta Knight was then dragged into a catfight between Peach and Samus for Mario's honor.

"_How cool,"_ Toon Link said to himself when he saw Peach and Samus fighting. _"I just love a good catfight! And right after I recovered from the fourth time I puked, too!"_

"_Pika Pikachu,"_ Pikachu's voice said in agreement. Toon Link noticed Pikachu right beside him outside and was eating cheese covered in ketchup. As soon as the Hero of Winds saw the ketchup on the cheese, a familiar queasy feeling and gurgling sound appeared in his system.

"_OH, COME ON,"_ Toon Link shouted at the sky disdainfully before running back inside to throw up.

"_Pika Pi…"_ Pikachu muttered sadly when he remembered Toon Link's allergy to ketchup. Pikachu then heard shouting different from Peach's and Samus' screams. Pikachu then saw at a distance that Mr. Game & Watch was using his Fire Attack on Captain Falcon.

"_Ow, Game & Watch,"_ Captain Falcon shouted painfully as the two-dimensional figure used another Fire Attack on him. _"How was I supposed to know that you lose… OW… control of your… OW… mood swings when… OWW… when you don't get your 10:00 nap?"_

"_BEEP,"_ Mr. Game & Watch responded angrily and used another Fire Attack on Captain Falcon. The two Brawlers unwittingly ran through the Pikmin army and killed some of them by accident.

"_Get back here, you green dinosaur, before I turn you into overcooked noodles,"_ Falco shouted at Yoshi, who was running with a tray of blue cupcakes. Apparantly, Yoshi swiped the cupcakes to appease its own hunger.

"_Falco, wait up,"_ Fox called out from behind. The Star Fox leader was chasing his best friend and a ravenous green dinosaur. The three of them unintentionally and unknowingly trampled and killed the remaining Pikmin.

"_Wait, Game & Watch, STOP,"_ Captain Falcon shouted and Mr. Game & Watch actually stopped. _"Look what's happening out here!"_

The two Brawlers saw the catfight between Peach and Samus, Meta Knight wishing for an immediate end to come, Falco and Fox chasing Yoshi who took Falco's cupcakes into custody, Toon Link running out from the Brawl Mansion and being chased by a puke-covered Skyland angel named Pit, a bloodied, blond-haired psychic user continuously beaten up by another psychic user in a red baseball cap for telling more secrets, and Pikachu eating ketchup-covered cheese. In the distance, they also saw Jigglypuff rolling away from the villains, the Pokémon Trainer trying to recall his cheese-traumatized Squirtle back into its Poké Ball, and Sonic running from Solid Snake and his Kirby weapon. Unexpectedly, King Dedede jumps right in front of Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch.

"_Luk luk luk luk luk luk luk,"_ King Dedede grunted while spinning his large mallet. Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch looked on in confusion as the King of Dreamland led a small group of Waddle Dees carrying Popo and Nana out of the mansion.

"_This is fun,"_ both Ice Climbers exclaimed cheerfully as they were carried away.

"_I had no idea why he just did that,"_ Captain Falcon responded dully, referring to King Dedede's previous action.

"_Beep,"_ Mr. Game & Watch replied dully as well. The two-dimensional fighter then saw amongst the chaos in the backyard that Wolf was still peacefully meditating. _"… Beep…"_

* * *

"_I have no idea why the Brawlers became so chaotic and violent without being in a battlefield, R.O.B.,"_ Master Hand said sadly. The right white gloved hand and R.O.B. were on the balcony on the back, watching the chaos unfold before them with the sun starting to slowly setting. _"I also saw what was happening inside the Brawl Mansion as well. Do you know why this happened? Did they really want to brawl today?"_

"_I think it all started with Mario's trophification,"_ R.O.B. answered monotonously.

"_It's-a-me,"_ Mario's voice cheerily echoed in the sky. The hand and the robot turned around to see the red-clad plumber with his Wing Cap on as he slowly descended on the balcony. _"How are you two-a doing?"_

"_Mario?"_ Master Hand asked in great confusion as R.O.B.'s eyes extended out to verify the real Mario before them.

"_That-a is my name,"_ Mario replied happily.

"_Where have you been all this time, Mario?"_ R.O.B. asked with his monotonous voice showing emotions of relief and happiness.

"_I've been-a flying all day, what else?"_ Mario answered nonchalantly. He was completely oblivious to all the mayhem that took place in the Brawl Mansion while he was gone.

"_So then you weren't turned into a trophy when you fell from the sky?"_ Master Hand asked at once.

"_No, but I've been-a cutting it real-a close,"_ Mario said casually. _"Why are you so-a concerned over me?"_ Master Hand then pointed to the Mario trophy on the ground next to a brutal catfight between the Mushroom Kingdom Princess, a scarred and maskless Star Warrior, and the female intergalactic bounty hunter.

"_Mama mia…,"_ Mario sighed in exasperation. _"That's-a a trophy of myself-a! I kept-a it on a table near the window. It must-a have fallen out when I started to fly with-a my Wing Cap out of the window. After that, I went-a to Meta Knight to observe me, but I knew he would-a be busy. I knew that-a I can take care of myself, so I flew around-a the district for some-a time now."_

"_That answered so many questions in my data bank," _R.O.B. stated lifelessly. He and the Master Hand then saw Mario put on a new Wing Cap.

"_I'm off-a until dinner,"_ Mario said energetically. _"Bye-Bye!"_ After a triple jump, Mario took off into the skies again. Master Hand and R.O.B. saw Mario disappear in the still bright blue sky.

"_You know what, R.O.B.?"_ Master Hand said after Mario was gone. _"I think I know why everyone has gone crazy."_ R.O.B. just stared at the gloved hand. Master Hand then pointed at something that R.O.B. believed to be illogical: Wolf was meditating. _"That is the cause! Wolf's sudden serenity that he found in meditation angered the balance between order and chaos. We all know Wolf O'Donnell to be the most wild and feral fighter among all of us. So when Wolf became calm, everyone else became… Well… crazy!"_

"_So then…,"_ the Robotic Operating Buddy droned out. _"None of this would have happened if Wolf did not meditate?"_

"_Correct,"_ Master Hand responded gravely, but gave a lighthearted thumbs-up.

* * *

"_I see-a no sign of Mario, but do you-a notice anything-a strange here?"_ Luigi asked Marth and Ike as they searched Samus' secret shrine of Mario in her room.

"_Nope,"_ Ike and Marth quickly said. The three Brawlers then left Samus' room to check the only place they have not thought of: the backyard.

Unbeknownst to them as they reached the backyard, a certain feral Brawler was fed up with the craziness and insanity taking place around him while he was meditating. All the noise and brutal violence taking place was calling out to him. It was telling him to get out of his meditative state once and for all and restore the upset balance in his home. If the balance is to be restored, then he should be willing to leave the peace and serenity he found in meditating. With one open eye, the blue cybernetic eye patch gleaming sinisterly, keen fangs grinning mercilessly, and claws sharpened to the max and outstretched, he was ready to send everything back into the way it was before.

"_Play time's over!"_

* * *

**I've been playing as Wolf almost all the time in **_**Super Smash Bros. Brawl**_** ever since I unlocked him. When he just stands there, it's like he's moving by himself. He just can't seem to stand still and I really admire that about him. He's really a one of a kind fighter. So then I thought what would happen if Wolf did something against his wild nature, like meditate. That would definitely upset the balance in my book. And thus, this piece of fiction was born. I made some humorous parodies and references to other… things. Yeah… I'm not going to point it all out. After all, where's the fun in that? Anyway, review or reread. Ciao! **


End file.
